You could say that I’m a dreamer, definitely a dreamer!
I can romanticize almost anything. Rose coloured glasses should be my motto, and there’s nothing wrong with that sometimes.
On countless occasions I’ve found myself slumped in my bed watching Bridget Jones, imagining myself as the awkward black girl version in my gigantic granny underpants falling in love with my own Mr. Darcy. I’m nowhere near perfect. In fact, I could write a book on all the crooks and crannies of flaws, not in a negative insecure way, but things I’ve come to learn about my crazy ole’ self, like the chip on the corner of a plate. Though it’s that very chip that makes us all so beautifully unique and individual, and if someone can see both those quirks and perks (and still not want to run a million miles away) then he’s one lucky fella and I’m one lucky lady… Bearing in mind that I feel the same about him and he’s not a psychopath!
I’ve come to learn that love is like this gigantic umbrella of all these actions that come together to create this body of movement that vibrates with us, our beings, two peoples togetherness. It takes a lot of graft to keep a relationship grounded and flowing, and sometimes it may not flow the way that you may want it to, but that’s no reason to give up- unless it’s unhealthy of course! I think having gone through multiple car crashes of relationships (though learning so much from them) and I’m very grateful for the opportunities that I had to learn and share, sometimes it still hurts and sometimes I get scared at the thought of letting someone in. Being able to spend time with me, meditating on who I am, what I want and where I want to be has given me a perspective on the type of person I’d like to share my life with. Don’t ever think that being alone is a bad thing, it’s an opportunity to learn about who you are, and I do believe that when it’s given we should embrace it. When I’m to cross that bridge of union, however, I shall be praying fervently, with the comfort of my Spiritual guides who will all be gathered to help a sister and a brother through, whispering, ushering and gently assisting our union.
For now my dear, I’ll continue to lay in my (sometimes very cold) bed, shuffling umpteen spoons of Ben & Jerry’s into my mouth, wailing to Sade on the top of my voice and dreaming up all of the infinite possibilities of me and my Mr. Darcy. Until the day comes when the toilet seat knows no direction but up, my bed isn’t so cold and I’m choosing whether to get a custom made rubber dingy rapid (adventure times!) or some more Ben and Jerry’s for his birthday 🙂
It’s alright to be a dreamer but choose wisely who has the privilege to hold your heart.
P.s. It’s A Wonderful Life is an AMAZING film. You should watch it 🙂 x
Image source: http://love-autonomy.tumblr.com/post/154940134007